High-Speed Hamburger with Fast Fries

Okay, this is a good burger recipe no doubt about it. But the smell of hamburger is clinging on me like a bad case of B.O. . I can't shake it. I made this burger for Husband pretty much as soon as I got home from work tonight and 3 hours later I still smell like a burger. Now some of you may say "Sweet! Nuthin' smells as great as a nice burg." But you're wrong. I smell like a pile of greasy nast. And do you know where I spent my night? In yoga class. That's right, I've spent the past hour doing the downward dog and trying not to puke all over my yoga mat because I've a cloud of burger grease around me. Here's how bad it was - when I was doing deep bends I was actually glad to smell my feet because they didn't smell like grease!

All night I've felt like Pig Pen from Peanuts with a constant cloud of stink around me. But apart from that this recipe is aces. I mean sure maybe it's my fault that I waited to make this until a day that it's -14 outside so I didn't bbq it...but I'm just saying. Don't fry this bad boy inside - this is a bbq meal for sure. Makes a tasty burg - Husband gave it an 8 out of 10.

Now the other half of the meal -the Fast Fries. I'm going to advise against Nigella's method of bashing your potatoes in a freezer bag and suggest that you take the 45 seconds to slice your potato into strips. Because when I did the bashing on my 3rd whack the freezer bag burst open and potato went shooting in every direction in my kitchen and all over the floor. These I just picked up and rinsed off before frying and feeding to Husband. Yeah I know it's not the cleanest dinner but they were washed...and you won't feel so bad for Husband when I tell you that 3 years ago Husband made me a great BBQ dinner. Then 2 hours after I had eaten he tells me the story of how he found a dead unidentifiable animal in our bbq, removed the animal and then made me my dinner WITHOUT cleaning the bbq first!!!!! How disgusting is that???? So you see folks a little washed off floor dirt is nothing at all. At least I had the decency to wash the dirt off.

All traumatizing bbqs aside, I'm sure this recipe will make for some great memories in the back yard. But I repeat do not fry inside...unless of course you want to smell like burger grease.