Glitzy Chocolate Puddings

If you make these for your love this Valentines Day you will get laid.

Ice Cream Cake

Okay, so when you tell someone that you're making ice cream cake, I think that you are automatically given higher status by that person. Let's face it nobody makes an ice cream cake. Everybody, even Martha effing Stewart buys ice cream cakes. If you want ice cream in cake form it's a trip to DQ or Baskin Robbins (and remember to order extra balloons on the cake at BR). So just watch peoples faces when you say you've made an ice cream cake and then keep watching when you then add that it has peanut butter chocolate sauce - you will get a reaction. And just be warned it is possible someone could fall in love with you for making them this cake. Don't make this for just anybody - you could have a stalker on your hands. What's really awesome is that this is actually really, really easy to make. Buy some vanilla ice cream, let it soften, mix in all the yummy bits and then put in into a spring form pan overnight in the freezer. The next day - you blow the mind of who ever it is you're trying to score points with (or maybe just score with).

I made Nigella's chocolate peanut butter sauce for this but she herself says you can just as simply buy some chocolate sauce form the store for topping. Though I do recommend the choc &PB sauce. I'm giving this recipe full points. Easy to make and tasty. I mean it's frickin' homemade ice cream cake! Enough said.

Mincemeat Parcels with Bourbon Butter

Mincemeat is effing disgusting. Nothing makes me more happy to be pescatartian than mincemeat. So with me having a couple people over to the house I pawned these off on the them. Shockingly people didn't mind them. The bourbon butter could have been a saving grace. Booze makes everything better after all. My butter was actually Canadian Club butter but I'm sure the substitute wasn't noticed. I don't have any bourbon so I thought CC would do in it's place. I cannot in good conscience recommend this to you because I do find mincemeat to be vile. But if you do like mincemeat A- get therapy, and B- try this out before your first session.

Crispy Duck

When I did eat meat I LOVED duck. This smelled really good when it was roasting in the oven too. I planned to cook this like Nigella told me put in the oven for 4 hrs and walk away. That's not really what I did though and its a good thing because this bird did not take 4 hours to cook. After about 2.5 hours I checked on the duck and it was looking pretty done to me. So I took it out of the oven and checked the temp of the meat and sure enough it was ready. The lesson - don't set and forget 4 hours in the oven would have been a disaster. It woulda been like when Clark Grizwald cuts in to the turkey in Christmas Vacation - it would have busted open with a puff of smoke coming from the cavity.

Anyhow, lucky for me I avoided that catastrophe. So then I had to shred the duck meat. Nigella says to take a fork and just shred the meat off the carcass. This, while physically simple,was a test of wills for me. I was near to puking almost the whole time. I'm really not good at handling the fact that I'm butchering up what was previously a sweet little ducky swimming around a pond with probably 5 little ducklings swimming behind all quack-quacking away with the sun shining and children eating lollipops on the shore. See this is what I'm seeing on my counter as I have to shred the poor buggers cooked flesh. This is why I feel like I'm Hannibal effing Lecter as I stand at my counter "cooking". Because while most people just see meat on the counter I'm standing there thinking if anything this duck should be shredding my carcass for dinner. Point is it took everything I had mentally to do that shredding and be left with a duck skeleton on my counter that I had to dispose of. I'm gonna go out a limb though and guess that you won't have this problem - if you do have trouble separating green meadow animal images from what's in your oven then save yourself a whole lotta hurt and buy some duck breast and slice it up - this activity is not for you.

So the duck is cooked and shredded the hard parts over right? Maybe. Because now you're left on your own. Nigella drops you like a hot potato at this point. She says just put out the duck with hoison sauce, spring onion, cucumber and let people build their own rolls. Well, no. So I set about making the rolls (a bit frantically) and I was all over the place with portions. I wasn't keeping track of how much of anything was going in so things fell apart a bit there - I think really we could have used some suggested assembly portions for this but what ever....

In the end I think it turned out pretty well taste wise - or so I'm told. But I gotta tell you this recipe just didn't feel like it was worth the effort. For something that should have been pretty straight forward there was lot of drama with making this for me - and since I didn't eat any no reward. I honestly don't know if I should recommend this one or not...I guess if you've nothing to do for 4 hours this could keep you busy - and let's face it duck is pretty effing delish.

Martini Olives

Okay - I like Olives and I like martinis so it should be a forgone conclusion that I would love this recipe. Not the case. I have to say tho that I think it's because my olives weren't the best. I used my sisters homemade olives and I'm not sure I rinsed them well enough because they were still pretty salty....that aside - I still think this recipe was a bit lacking. My sister made me some martini olives once and they had thick lemon peel in with the martini marinade and I think it really makes the difference. So if you want to make some martini olives I'd suggest adding a couple thick curls of lemon zest.

Tuna Steaks with Black Beans

I can't say this is a ground breaking recipe. As a matter of fact I can't even say that it's one of her better ones. What I can say is that it's pretty damn fast to prepare. This dinner can be made in under 10 minutes easily. It's not exactly the cheapest dinner to make though. My small piece of tuna set me back the better part of $20 - that was one piece that I split between myself and Husband. It's a bit of a high roller meal. And to be honest I think you can make a way better meal at $10 a plate. If you really like the flavour of just straight up tuna - unsoiled by herbs and spices than yeah this is a good reference for you on how to cook it. But again I find myself asking do you really need to be told these things?? I guess maybe some people do and I shouldn't judge.

The bean salad is neither here nor there. It's got decent flavour but again, my socks were not knocked off.

Husband came home from work and nearly shit himself when he saw what was for dinner. He was all panicked that I'd made fish and beans. His eyes were big and he looked back into a corner of not wanting to hurt my feelings but also not wanting to eat the food on his plate. He tried desperately to walk that fine line and get out of eating what I'd made but I pressed him to try the damn food. So the gingerly took a bit of the tuna and said " This is pretty good but I usually don't like fish." He had the same reaction with the beans. So it's not that he didn't like the food it was that he normally wouldn't eat this, so because it was outside his box of "normal" he didn't want to go there. I swear to god some days I could throttle him. I told him if he likes the taste there's nothing to talk about. And when he had finished he tuna he conceded that it was pretty good.

In the end I just think this recipe is okay. If it peaks your interest then yes I say try it, but if you're not sure this is for you then find something with a little more pizazz.

Seafood Pot

I told Husband that I was making Seafood Pot for lunch today and his eyes got really big and he said "You're making what?" in a some what surprised voice. To which I repeated the recipe title and mentioned that it was a blog recipe. "Oh, so it's a pot full of seafood." he says with the wire connecting. Then I realized he thought I was gonna roll some kinda seafood laced monster joint for an afternoon activity -which makes no sense at all BTW, maybe 10 years ago but not these days. Anyhow, after making this dish I'm thinking that a monster doob would have been a way better idea. I'm totally disappointed with this dish. It just wasn't what I was looking for. Maybe I just didn't have the right atmosphere going on to enjoy this dish?? I don't know. I do believe that part of making any experience enjoyable is the atmosphere - perhaps this is more a dinner party type dish as opposed to a Sunday afternoon watching Ang Lee's Hulk on the couch dish.....Or maybe I was just subconsciously wishing that it was 1999 and I was listening to Cypress Hill and havin' a regular good ol' time. What ever the reason this did not please my palate. I will say that I think this recipe is a great start to a lovely creamy baked seafood pasta. And that this what I plan on turning the leftovers into.

I think my mom would like this dish because she is a hardcore seafood lover - me I'm not so hard core on the seafood front. If you are hardcore into eating ocean life then yes, give this a try. But make sure you have a really and truly fabulous bread to dip into buttery wine sauce that will make all the difference with this dish. I actually think a fabulous crusty bread should be listed as an ingredient with this because that's how strongly I feel it's necessary to complete this dish.

Chicken Schnitzel with Bacon and White Wine

Oh schnitzel....the only thing good about you is that you cook so damn fast. Otherwise I'm not too impressed with schnitzel. Then again, my opinion is that of a person who hasn't eaten meat for a full year....Husband wasn't overly impressed with the schnitzel either though. And he would marry meat if he could. This recipe is okay..and I do mean just okay. I mean honestly, do you really need someone to tell you that chicken and bacon are good together? Just look at any fast food menu and there is it, chicken and bacon. So you put them together at home instead of some punk kid putting it together for you getting paid ten bucks an hour. Incidentally I used to be one of those punk kids putting your fast food sandwiches together - it's just as shitty a job as you think it is.

Anyhow, back to the recipe. If you do need someone to tell you to put chicken and bacon in the same pan together then sure give this one a try. It's a great recipe if you're just learning how to cook but if you've got a few notches in your kitchen bedpost don't waste your time - this ones for culinary virgins.

Crunchy Salad with Hot and Sour Dressing

So this salad has peaked my interest for quite some time but I knew I'd have a problem getting the tom yam paste. And keeping with their reputation Metro proved fruitless for me. I scoured the international food aisle for at least 15 minutes and found a ton of different pastes but not tom yam paste. So I went to customer service and (no I didn't tell them their grocery store is piece of shit - though I should have) asked them if they carry it - just to make sure I wasn't missing it. The girl called the manger and she'd never even heard of tom yam paste. Did I mention I love living in the suburbs???

Anyway, I headed back to the international food aisle cursing myself for not having an iphone or any kind of phone that can surf the web (I don't even remember what year I got my phone - that's how old it is). I considered texting sister but I thought - nah just wing it. So after careful contemplation I came up with "Sambal Oelek Ground Fresh chili Paste" ...Use it to "heat up" your stir-fry dishes, pizza, eggs, pasta, or anything you desire. .... That's what the label says. I figured it would do the job. I'm quite sure that tom yam paste would be much better but this suited fine.

The recipe is simple and straight forward -and it makes a considerable amount - well speaking as someone who cooks for 2. We have left overs for sure. I thought it was decent and Husband just straight out told me he liked it without me even asking -which means he must have really liked it. This salasd has lots of greens for you which is what I was looking for from this - I've neglected my veggies lately. I think this makes a pretty decent dish and I'd say adding some firm spicy tofu to it would make it really hearty.

I've managed to drink and entire martini while writing this blog - and its hasn't taken me that long. I gotta tell ya my head feels a little lighter right now....time for another! Cheers!

Budino Di Cioccolato

Well, this turned out shit in my humble opinion. True the milk I used wasn't "full fat" but still that shouldn't have meant that this be more like a soup. Maybe that's how it's supposed to be??? I don't know. Either way I'm not a fan. Because even if this had set more like I wanted it to it is still WAY too sweet. I can't effing stand sugary chocolate. I need my chocolate to be pure. And guess what chocolate is bitter!!! Just like I am about this recipe. NEXT!